a dinner and bingsoo date with G and S. I exclaimed, “I am so glad to be here with you guys right now” and was told that I had already said that — no memory, though.
I’ve been wanting to journal about this evening and our conversations that left a sweet impression on my brain… but already, a weekend has passed and it’s Monday blues because I don’t remember what all I wanted to write. I just know that they were good company and I shared a lot, very honestly. as well as these tidbits:
- “speaking of crisis of faith”: S says, for her, it’s not so much a certain moment of illumination but rather, a gradual change of heart that has peace and certainty. the steps of change have been imperceptible, but the difference between the beginning and now is stark. she says that the faith could not have come from herself.
- G says it’s hard for her to connect with idealists. like, she appreciates their enthusiasm but can’t completely get her realist self to buy what they’re touting. it’s not that she thinks that they are deceiving her…just that their enthusiasm is a currency she doesn’t trade in. same goes for hugs. we were all surprised to learn that S is, in fact, an idealist 😉 (and I confessed: so am I)
- we talked about Ideal Postgrad Situations and marveled at everyone’s answer except mine. S says she would like to work in a marine biology research center and swim with the sharks (she loves their cartilegey bodies and misunderstood characters), and then probably return to her calling to serve people as a nurse. G surprised me with her initial answer of “which company…” and then surprised us both with her actual answer: to be a park ranger and to plant trees and stuff, out in nature. we all exclaimed that SHE SHOULD GO DO THAT, but alas, apparently you need a master’s degree in forestry or something. who knew.
- G is the servent-heartedest person I’ve ever met. I told her that she is indeed the perfect personality to work in government because of her groundedness in reality and accompanying knowledge of the frustrations of working in the public sector, but somehow maintains unfailing idealism (despite bullet point 2) about the state of society and how it might be bettered by human hands. she’s not discouraged by the redtape, but is, instead, all the better equipped to work in such “limited/ing” environments because she’s already two steps ahead of you. she knows it’ll be there. she’s not gonna be fazed by it. she says she wants to be in this sector because she’s good at supporting great leadership.
the more I think about G, the more confused I get — every new detail I learn about her seems to be a contradiction of another. realist with unfailing desire for idealistic betterment. people-server who would choose to be alone in a forest for a year, if she could have her pick of jobs. monotone exclamations describe her most ardent passions. like love. and romance. and the possibility of a non-movie kind of story that’s actually kind of sweet.
even more than the actual dinner date, the car conversation afterwards felt even more full and sweet, satisfying. I told her about falling in love in Seattle, confessed that I felt silly that it had taken me just shy of two years, but that everyone’s story is different, and what am I gonna do. she agreed with me wholeheartedly by not exclaiming loudly but calmly telling me, in the monotonest voice she could muster up, that I was “speaking to her soul.”