“your life is beaUTIFUL”

so… is it safe to say that dating, in its regular-form, non-emergency, freak-accident-free boundaries of normal life, one will never experience those situations of emotional depth that make or break marriages?


so… doesn’t it seem kind of unfair, like, how the heck are you ever supposed to know whether or not to make the leap? are we just expected to make the commitment without knowing what it’s really ever gonna be like?

“well, I mean… yeah!”

so… is this some sort of trick?

“no! I mean, it’s sort of like the gospel, isn’t it? you can’t grab a nonbeliever and show them what it’s really like to convince them to become a believer. at some point, that person just has to make the leap… of faith… and say yes, and then begin to grow in faith

oh. WOAH. woah… woah. wait that’s really good.

“I mean, you can apply this to anything in life — like that job. you might have some ideas, some suppositions, well-supported or not, about what it’s going to be like, how well suited you’ll be to it… but you don’t know what it’s going to be like. you’re just going to have to find out what you can, and then make up the distance by leaping. in faith. I mean, are you expecting to time travel here?”

you right. dang. I’m totally getting owned by this…overwhelmingly simple parallel over here. bleh afoewifj wwow

“you just sort of look at a person, you learn their character, see if your relationship has the potential to glorify God and make you both sanctified, and you go for it. and don’t sacrifice it…just because of that little feminist person on your shoulder.”

I know, I know… I’ll keep having these conversations with my little feminist person on the shoulder. she’s not too big, anyways.


“let’s be real here, it’s gonna be hard. you know that feeling you had in your dream when you were facing that uncertain, scary thing and were so mad at Bark for not doing anything to help? that’s what it’s going to feel like. a thousand times worse. because you’ll actually be helpless. and vulnerable. and going into labor to deliver a baby or something and he’ll be watching a Jackie Chan movie…or something (yeah, it was bad). but you practice serving one another, saying no to your selfishness, and growing together — I mean really together, like two trees, growing into each other — and glorifying Jesus through all of that. you won’t regret it.”

hey. hey, hey. your life is beautiful. let me tell you…as the direct recipient and first-taster of the fruit: how beautiful and blessingful and meaningful your ministry has been in my life. you’re not getting applauded in obvious ways, like you would be in a concert hall, I know, but you two are the biggest unsung heroes I know. you’re affecting and influencing and touching and (teaching to!) all of our lives here so thank you. thank you. thank you. for the first time, I really feel like I can say I have a life mentor; someone to go to, unashaméd. and loved. thank you. please hear that. we love you!

bittersweet begendings. berhaps.


notes from hayley

just the sparknotes; the rest, I’ll have to chase down again and again —

  • selfishness might be the new pride
  • out of the mouth the heart speaks
  • and in your moments of secret selfishness, take thoughts captive and…pray
  • decide decide decide; you choose to love and like someone
  • but don’t feel pressured
  • “right now I feel like I’m trying to imagine a 3D world with 2D tools”
  • like 2 trees, growing together with all the little details and big details
  • way more of the good than the difficult
  • ptl for mentorpeepol who allow you glimpses into their crazy 3D worlds
  • chase me down! I’ll do the same for you, but you come find me, just chase me down

overwhelming feelings of: “everything little thing! is gunna be awright!”