I guess it’s not so unnormal to feel nervous about a home change — tis a huge upheaval of life, indeed. It’s okay to feel not so good about it.
And not so good about it I do feel, indeed. Just unsettled and worried and uncertain. And resistant to the idea that I have to move at all, cause I am a crotchety old man who doesn’t like change. Indeed.
On one hand, the room with a bathroom with a skittish little lady who is coming off some big life changes of her own. That home will be quiet, I feel, and full of piano music and potential tensions because she’s, well, a little skittish. I have unsettled feelings about its basementness and very meh neighborhood.
The other, the room with a third of a bathroom, is in a home that entertains, that watches Netflix together, that cooks kale in the eveningtime for dinner. But that means entertaining, netflixing, cooking. Together. With people. Which can be intimidating at first and tiring at intervals. Which makes me feel old, for my reservations about plunging into society and potential new friendships. Old, so old.
The room with the skittish lady, all mehness aside, would be good and useful — it’s equidistant from work and from Mark and from church. It’s also a place where I would lead a private life, private bathroom and all. I could come and go and maybe never even see her for days, if my living with the current roomie is any indication. I’m busy. She’s prolly busy. We might run into each other in the kitchen sometimes. But that’d prolly be it. She’s not looking for a friend — she wants a tenant.
The room with the 1/3 bathroom, then, offers its alternative of a socializing house. Did I mention the 1/3 bathroom? We’d be balancing three girls schedules in there, and my bedroom would share two of its walls with hallmates’ otherwalls. There would be good-morning routines to get used to, introductions of friends to get through, schlightly schmawkward getting-to-know-you waltzes for a little while until enough little while had passed.
The ssem ssems:
- Price point: 600 vs. 800, but about equal, I would say, once utilities and the bathroomage are accounted for.
- Location: even this, about equal, except that one is closer to work and the other is closer to Mark. Priorities…?
- Lease terms: less and more flexible. But the less flexible term, too, I can dill with. End of next summer is actually not that far away.
Where would I be least estressèd? Where would I be most comfortable (in my soul)? Where would I be challenged to grow the most? Where would I feel most at home? Where would I have more fun?
Will none of this matter because I will be pulling the usual gig and be running about all day every day socializing and being busy busy to no end?
P.S. The annandale room is cheaper, yes, but so far. And remember, no kitchenequality. And so, so cold in the wintertime.
Conclusion: Living with people — with anyone — is kind of a hard thing. But it’s a worthy endeavor, cause happiness only real when shared. God, would you use this opportunity to grow me as a co-liver of shared spaces? Live-r like a lover, not like a spleen.