today I noticed how my tongue is scalloped around the edges, wondered why that might be, and realized that it’s because of the impressions of the teeth surrounding. as if the tongue is a little too big to fit into the mouth and is being squished around the sides, like thigh chubbiness in the confines of tight jeans.
today I had a lovely dinner with Y and H. they brought wine and desserts and I provided the pasta. it’s funny how “adult” these dinners can feel when someone else is cooking for you, but when it’s you doing the cooking, you know it would be a sham to call your recipe “fancy.” we celebrated H’s engagement with glasses of Martinelli’s and then Trader Joe’s wine (surprisingly delicious; we are not wine snobs), talked about my recent COF, and wondered what would happen to Hillary Clinton and her emails. it was lighthearted and deep at the same time. we took instax pictures before parting ways and split them up among the three of us.
today I experienced depth of an instant-message conversation with a coworker like never before — in the form of a -___- face. fake deadlines were being pushed around, and she wasn’t going to stand for it. in the beginning I felt full and purposeful, but by the time afternoon rolled around, I just felt tired and deflated about it all. people need to stop with the fake deadlines.
today I felt resentful toward R for no reason. I wonder what’s wrong with me. (un)relatedly, there is a small part of me that gets grumpy at other people’s happiness, I think. I hate this about myself. but then again, it’s a pretty common human trait, too — it’s called jealousy, I guess.
today I talked to H at work about her impending baby #2. she is cool in that way where she commences her conversations with “hey girl” and it’s not corny. I like that she is genuine and fierce and also a mom. and also a real good editor. I’m looking forward to learning from her.