Wednesday, 8/24/16: window walk-bys and “I like you” friendeclarations
sometimes, Mark calls me right as I’m drifting off to sleep, after I’ve sent him a curt little goodnight text. not curt cause I’m mad, just eager to get to sleep. normally, this would be a really annoying kind of interruption, but here, it’s sweet, cause he’s calling just to “hear your voice.” I then try to sleepily make conversation about this and that, but he’s eager to get me to sleep so there’s a little conversation dance, back and forth, with me drawing out more questions and answers about his day and him trying to finish it up. good night, good night, good night, it ends.
finally got to CATCH UP with Julie in a talk-about-everything, unrushed, multihour-car-ride way down and back up from Durham this weekend. it was a good sandwich of catch-up convos middled with a lot of reminiscey look-forwards. yeah, weird. but this girl. we can sit in cars together and let the other one talk on the phone in other catch-up conversations cause we’re comfortable enough, there’s grace enough. this girl. I like this girl and our Korean-peppered conversations and connections. and just cause I was feelin’ it, I declared it unabashedly to her — and somehow I think that declaration sorta solidified our friendship a little bit. a little plop of friendship glue that got soaked up in the fabric of our in-between and made itself a little solid standing ground. she laughed and said “I like you, too!”
on Monday, mama called me at work in tears because Binky is so sick. it’s getting really bad — he and Charlie are not getting along. Binky has an eye infection and is throwing up all his food, and Charlie refuses to eat because she’s been banished to the basement room. babies throwing tantrums for our empty-nester parents. but seriously, it’s scary, because I don’t really know how sicknesses go for animals so it’s always ultra-unnerving whenever something like this happens. what if he dies? what if she does? we’re trying to give Charlie up for adoption but it’s all really, really sad.
sent out a blast email to the small group and there might be hope for Charlie yet. “K and I were just emailing back and forth this morning about getting a cat. No joke.” but it’s tentative cause he hasn’t gotten back to me. eep.
yesterday I dinnered (and interviewed, apparently!) at the Hoenshells’ lovely, lovely home. it’s almost unreal how idyllic their life seems, from the outside. perfect kiddos, perfect couplehood, perfect apartment. perfect calling on their lives! I know it’s probably just my unfamiliarity with them that makes me see them in this way, but…what can I say? this is the way I’m seeing them so far, anyway!
Peter was walking by J’s little room window on Goshen, talking about me, apparently. a hilarious little moment when a little sister hears her older sister’s name dropped casually, so casually, from a random voice outside her window. I investigated immediately and found that he had been talking to a college friend whom I had met once before. haha. (also, this was much more hilario before I tried to so boringly capture it here in this bullet point.)
“it feels like you’ve sorta surpassed me” — maybe I have! got to pay for Grace’s dinner today, which is kind of a historic moment in our friendship of her just naturally and swiftly paying for every meal, snack, coffee (so far, anyway!). we sat over soondubu and chatted about traveling, our favorite cities, what we think of postgrad friendships, investing in people (and when to hold back wisely), what she’s up to, what I’m thinking about next steps… it felt good. uncomplicated. the same. unburdened with expectations, I guess. I’m sorta seeing a pattern in my friendships with “people in different life stages,” however micro-level those stages. with Julie. with Grace. because it feels like we’re in officially different places in life (and have been, since the beginnings of our friendships), it almost feels okay that we don’t see each other often. there’s no pressure or (unmet) expectation there. “we are friends!” she declared. then we planned a tentative cville trip together to go visit with Aileen a bit.