Tuesday, 8/16/16: at and ml

Panera date number (mere) two, and I am already in love.

Ways in which we are the same:

  • thoughts upon thoughts upon theories upon theories.
  • wanting to be feminist in a God-fearing fashion.
  • having significant others who are the anchors to our dream-forward balloon brains (who remind us about bedtimes on week nights despite the stargazings that must be done, so we can get to work on time and function like more than zombies).
  • the fear of not being understood by significant others who aren’t deep thinkers (except when they wanna be).
  • impulsive desires to light everything up (throw everything away) and just start over (or do nothing).
  • emotion-driven bully pulpit.
  • being loud when we wanna be, soft when we wanna be. basically, wanting to break the mold of what it means to be a Good Christian Lady.

Ways in which we are not the same:

  • she is a much more independent thinker than I am; a natural leader while I am a natural follower.
  • I am probably more of a people pleaser than she is — this is good and bad; take it as you will.
  • she knows her thoughts and will SHARE with you! I’m not so sure of mine because I am wavery and open to the possibilities of changing them, like, all the time.

Ways in which she is a few steps ahead of me slash where I hope to be when I grow up:

  • that God-fearing feminism? she’s way ahead of me on it.
  • understanding the connectedness of the body and the mind and the soul — how taking care of one means taking care of the other, and how to rely on God for all three parts of the whole. I’m all confused about this and just realizing that they’re all interconnected. she’s been functioning with this knowledge for a whiiiile now.
  • Bible studies upon Bible studies. (YES I WILL MEET WITH YOU AT STARBUCKS AT 6 AM ON SATURDAYS; PLEASE TEACH ME!)
  • she and her husband have raised three amazing chillun’ who I want to babysit, just to have the privilege of knowing.
  • intuition and sensitivities about people and their feelings. I used to think I was a hot shot at this stuff but I’ve lost my confidence somewhere along the way. I want that back, LIFE.

I love her most of all because she is genuinely herself + a bravely outspoken, strong, leader of a woman + a God-loving, God-honoring person. and I want to be all those things myself. and she makes that elusive combination feel possible.