I love Girl. I will explain what that is. When I look at her I feel sick like I am going to die. I have never had the Great Disease (obviously, because I am still alive). But my Uncle described it to me. He says there is a tightness in your chest, you cannot breathe, and you have anger toward the Gods because they are hurting you for no reason. I was going to ask him to explain more, but then he died. (He had been sick a long time, almost two days.) My point is: Girl makes me feel this way, like I am going to die. There are many women in this world. By last count, seven. But she is the only one I ever loved.
The Last Girlfriend on Earth, Simon Rich